Kate McShifty Eyes

Agghh!! This stupid medecine is making my eyes shake! I'm having trouble focusing my eyes on things that are not directly in front of me. Not good. My mom said that that medicine did the same thing to her when she was on it. Someone won't be driving tonight.. sigh. Awesome.

So yesterday was my big dentist appointment. It went better than I expected. But I did lose a lot of blood, as I thought I would. I had little blood splatter stains all over my face when I got home. You think the hygenist would have wiped my mouth or at least told me I looked like Dracula before I left.

After the dentist I went home and took a nap, my best effort at kicking this illness in the ass before it kicks me. I had the laziest day ever. My biggest excitement of the day was watching the premiere of Survivor: Panama. I normally don't watch television, but some girls at work decided to put a bet on the show, so I put my $20 in. The guy I got is a smoker and he is bugging out about not having had a cigarette. Yea.. he's really gonna survive 40 days in the jungle. Sure. $20 down the drain.

I got a little disturbing surprise in the mail on Wednesday. It was an envelope from D with a check for one of the last phone bills I had to pay for him. There was a note on the envelope. It was an apology for what happened the last time we had spoken. It had ended badly and I had pretty much written him off at that point. The note was short, but it did mention that even though he didn't show it, he did love me and thinks he always will. I looked at the note and read it a few times. But I didn't feel what I expected to.. no heaviness, no defeat, no ulitimate misery. I actually kinda felt nothing. I wasn't sure how to take it. He hasn't told me he loved me in over a year. Even when we were together. It just never happened after a certain a point. I put the note in one of my drawers and didn't think about it again until i got to work today. You wanna know why I thought of it when I got to work today? Stupid sappy love songs on the lite rock station we have to keep on at work. Bon Jovi and Guns N Roses can kiss my ass today.

Upward and onward.. and no more of that.

So I have officially talked to B on the phone everynight this week. Yesterday he even called me in the morning to say good luck at the dentist. (He listens when I taaaaalk!!!) Still no talk of meeting up. He jokes about having 10 minutes to stop by for a bite to eat, but I truley hope that this is just a joke. Anyway, I've decided to call him on my lunch break today. He told me he has tomorrow off, so I'm going to see if he wants to meet for dinner in the evening (after he goes riding of course, don't want to intrude on his only day off). I'm just going to ask him, straight up. No games, no hinting. I think he'd like that. We'll see. If I get a cold fish, I think I'm going to chalk this one up. I really like him, but I don't know if I like where this is going. I mean, what if I end up really liking him and then we get more involved. I totally won't be satisfied with the amount of time he has available. Not sure yet.. gonna have to feel this one out a little.
I'll keep you posted.

Oh and P.S. I havent been out with the girls in over a week. I think that calls for some heavy margaritas this evening. Maybe some local pub time. I miss alcohol.